Prayers

I've never been much of a religious person. I have always believed in god beacause of the religion and faith my parents raised me with, but I did always have doubts. I remember when I was young and in middle school I use to deny the excisitance of god. I did feel bad, but I always thought it was because my parents always taught me to repect god and religions. Although I did always respect religions, I wasn't the type to ever tell people who had a religion to change because I didn't believe in it. I actually always admired them for believing in something and being happy. Now I'm not going to write the next part to get pity I'm just here to tell my thoughts and feelings. My family is poor and we have a lot of problems like many people do, but surprisingly we haven't ended up in the streets and my mom says it's because of her belief in god. Now I never believed that, but I always thought it was awesome how my mom had so much faith, and I believe that because of her faith we'd find money in wideopen spaces anyone could see it, but for some reason we were the only ones who noticed it. She'd always thank god when we'd find hidden surprises. Not to long ago did I find god. Not because any miracle happened to me although I'd see them everyday happening to my mom, but because I don't know it something I can't explain. I know I have done so many sins, but as my mom always told me "god forgives all who loves him." I've never felt better. This is not written to stuff my views down your throat this is just something I felt like writing, bacause today my dad went through a terrible thing and we can not see him at all, but I believe and know god is by his side and he is going to return to us soon.

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this blog makes no sense, but youll get the point. (:

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Check out Florance + The Machine. It's an awesome band. I feel like running around in the rain when I hear My Boy Builds Coffins. Check it out!!!! :D

up to speed

I miss high school! I ended up going to a community college. I didn't have much money for SFA, but I'm going to make the best with what I get. I still have no job, and it sucks because I really need one. There's bills to pay and family to help. I haven't posted anything because well my life isnt that exciting. Hopefully I start once school starts. How are y ou? What are you doing? You look mighty good today (:

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YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE SOOO BEAUTIFUL. SMILE (:

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The world crashes around me. I needed you, but you weren't there. You chose to hang out with your friends and drink. I needed you... The decision I made isnt strong; I want to run back to you, but I know you don't care. You sound so calm when I decided to brake up. I believe you never cared. You said I wasn't you, you're right I'm not, but everything just screamed you never cared. I fell in love so deeply and you just didn't care. I did so much for you, I changed so much because of you. I've never had this happened to me. I don't know what to do from here, where do I go? You were the only person I trusted. I'm an idiot for depending on the relationship so much. The only one to blame here is me for being stupid.