HO HO ho..........

Is it just me or is the Christmas spirit gone down for me? Usually at this time of the year I would've been screaming for Christmas to come. My Stomach usually turns and gives me a good feeling of the things to come when I see Christmas lights but lately I don't know. I DON"T HAVE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! I'm freaking out! I guess it's because I know for sure I can't anything for the people I care about. I'm really trying but I have no money, and yes I've tried to look for jobs but nothing turns up. Either you have to be 18 to apply or they're not hiring at all. I promised my brother a Christmas present, but I guess I should've thought before I talked... Stupid recession. According to my Economics teacher America should be back on its feet by Spring, but it's not a definate answer. So merry Christmas to all and a happy New Years! Hope you have the season spirit.

art of mind

Have I ever told you about the things that make me happy? I don't think I have so I'll tell you now. Books, music, art and recently I've discovered the awesome fuzzy feeling I get from looking at photography. How does this feeling feel to me? It feels like when you first hear those I love you words from the person you'd never thought to fall for. The hugs that person gives you that make you feel like melting, or the blushing you get when they call you by your name and call you babe. It feels like you can counquer anything in life, that there is no one or anything that can stand in the way. It feels like the first day of Spring and when you see the first snow in your front lawn in the morning. Books, music, art and pictures give me that feeling that I can do whatever I want if I put my mind into it. Just knowing that things don't always look or hear the same way no matter how much you try to copy it. Do you have these feelings with things as well? I've been wanting to try and get into photography and create soemthing that will give another person the same feeling I get. I feel like that with everything I love actually, for example books; I'm a writer and when people read what I've written I want them to feel like it's a world they want to live in, like the chracters understand them, and that it'll teach them a lesson in life. The same way I feel when I read a book. With music as well, when I show people new bands or artist I hope they get the same feeling I get when I'm in my room listening to the music while starring at nothing. It's also the same thing with art. God I love that fuzzy feeling I get!

p.sI'mstillcomputerless):

boredom and the cyberspace

So my computer kinda sort of broke so now I've been sneaking into blogger when I'm in computer class. Ooooh.....! The collge thing isnt going so well... and the job HA don't even ask.
I've been looking for help, but there is always something that stops me from going. I take my ACTs this 12. God the end of the school year is approching to fast! I should've done all of this my junior year, but noooo I was to busy making excuses. Oh I think you already know that I mentor the freshmen, WELL they are driving me crazy. They just don't care about their future. They just sit there and expect for everything to fall on their lap. I know my school is easy on us kids with our grades, but we also have to put a little effort into it. Everything is going well in school, have I mentioned I got my best friend back? Well if I haven't I did, but it isnt as it use to be.... My teacher just walked by, god that was a close one. Oh I've showed this site to two of my friends, I kept this site a secret only three people know about it as long as who ever tumbles across it. I MISS YOUTUBE! If I have mispelled anything on this thing please excuse it. I can not go back and change anything since I'm about to leave this class in about 5 minutes, I think.
Have a good day! How are you today? One last thing, I HATE COLD WEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come back spring and summer, I LOVE YOU!


p.sIhatesmartasspeople!

Whats In Their Mind?

I seem to find it unbelievable how guys find it so irresistable to hurt someone when there practically giving it there all. I mean yes, sometimes we girls open ourselfs up for that kind or torment but why is it that they take the advantage to just drop you on your face with a simple pull of the worlds carpet that it holding me up. Just suicide bomb me for god sakes its like I've been trampled on, abused, and used for the simple game pleasure of being another name in there god damn book. I've been in love once but believe it or not love is the torture game as well. I mean when your in love the world is like a young girl spinning very very fast in one spot in circles, dizzyness everywhere && your heart begans to pump very fast, but i mean there has to be some point in which the girl becomes so dizzy she falls. Ive fallen && can't get up. He was here now gone but you get over things like that && you have to like accept he's gone but oh well face it he's never coming back. && if he does then your meant to be like the star-crossed lovers of romeo && juliet. I've had guys use me, leave me for others, use me for bets, cheat on me, hurt me, && have me just around for the hell of it. I want a guy who can understand me for me && not categorize me along with another girls cause im just terribly beyond normal. I mean come on you will never find another girl that will actually put up with you && your flaws && deal with your interest or show you there the realist person ever. I want to love but why love those people who are not worth loving. Staying happy is my priority && im deciding to change for the better. :) -anonymous.

11/7/09

I was nervous and excited for the night to come. I finally bought those shoes I've been wanting for years, and people finally saw me in a dress. I've never been to a school dance and as my last year in highschool I thought I should make some good memories. He made my night though, he looked very cute in those clothes and his hat. I would love to replay yesterday night so many times, it will never get boring. I felt like on of those girls in a show and everyone is just watching you for the first time, but god it was so much fun. Can't wait for the other dance to get here.






p.sthankyouagainformakingmynightpossible(:

<3

It is almost eleven-eleven pm but by the time you finish reading this, it will be so then I will tell you that I wish I could expose my most inner self in front of you knowing that I was naked but also knowing I felt completely clothed under the admirable tone of your voice, the one that does, though, soothes my ears every night before I’m tucked away in my comfortable bed, under the sheets that protect me from the darkness that has already swallowed me and anticipating the moment that you will pop out of my dreams to save me from my nightmares, while wishing in that moment that the future in which you will tuck me in, in which we well kiss away at night, in which you will be the last soul I see before I wake isn’t really as distant as we think it is.

daddy's little girl

He sits and waits and sees and hates.
A calamity with no remedy came; he aint ready.
He sits and waits and cries and hates.
No solution and no conclusion,
he cannot reconcile with that pedophile.
An intrution is that illusion,
she's gone more than a mile with that pedophile.

"She's my daugther!" yells her father
"She's my baby, my only one!"
He yells with a broken heart stunned....

eleven eleven

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl...

030109

The warmest, most comforting gift from heaven is a kiss from my girlfriend, my inspiration, my love; her succulent lips charged with sexual essence wrap around my lips leaving me to my most eased stage. It always feels just like the first time I fell for her in the soft, gentle waves of love as they rock me back and forth leaving me in my dreams. I tell her “I’m yours” like the song by Jason Mraz because she gives my heart life as if it were her coloring book. She saves me from nightmares by coming out of one of my dreams to hug my lonely self to sleep. She springs up every emotion my heart could possibly have, especially the selfish side of me: when we end the day with a kiss, I don’t remember what we did but wish for the day to be eternal. I have all types of attractions to her and I look forward to the day I propose to her, to the day I marry her, to the day I am permanently with her in our world made of solid love. Love can mean a lot of things, but right now, love means her.

There's a world out there I want to touch.
"Picture yourself on a boat in a river With tangerine trees and marmalade skies "-Beatles

Tis the season to be jolly

The sweet joyess feeling is in the air. I hate the cold weather, but I love the holidays that are to come. The feeling of happiness is shortly here, Halloween is coming up. Im excited. I dont really celebrate Halloween, Thankgiving, Christmas or New Years, I mean yea we eat food but not go all out, but you can't help to feel giddy at seeing all the houses putting up their lights and the smell of warmth and coco. I hope this year it snows, but living in Texas and all we don't get snow. BUT! maybe we have hope this year, I hope it snows. I love the sight of a winter wonderland. I can already taste the sweets that are to come.

.... >____<"

pissed pissed pissed pissed PISSED
yup I've been ms.pissy pants lately. :/

yes?

Things are stacking up again, not that I'm being lazy again just that I have to much to do. School days are getting longer and crappier. School happiness is going down the drain. (flushing noise insert here) It'll all get better soon. It better get better!... I've also gotten to the point where I want to fall asleep in class, but I can't. I don't even let myself put my head down. I've read no books at all, hmmm maybe I should right now since I have nothing to do. Well I have homework, but I'll do it later. It aint due til Friday anyways. How was your day?

1 to 2 teaspoons every 4 to 6 hours, take 1 pill three times a day

I am finally getting better! I went to the doctors yesterday and they did some test on me to see if I had the flu. It was negative, but I do have an infection in my ear. Shit hurts like hell. The doctor forbid me from going to school today, so now I'm bored and stuck at home. I'd rather be at school.

LOST....

It has been about 14 years since I've known her. We use to be best friends, we use to be sisters. All in a blink of an eye that friendship is now down the drain. I don't know what I did, I don't know what I said or even if I did anything at all. She knows alot of secrets about me, she knows me better than I know myself. She knew when something was wrong i didn't have to say anything before she knew exactly what was wrong. She was always there and I for her. We were inseperable. I want to ask her what I did, but I don't have the guts. Maybe this is for the best, but I miss her terribly. I took our friendship for granted. She wasn't the best person in the world she had her flaws, but that's what made her my friend. We use to create worlds on our own in my backyard with sticks and mud. Once we even made Eggville. At first it didn't bother me I thought it'll all get fixed, but now looking back at something I see that it won't. I want to take her out like we did the last time this was about to happened, it all got fixed, but she looks likes she's happy the way it is. I still want to know though, I want to try and fix it. We use to tell each other we'll be best friends forever.

mindless boring blogs

On Monday as I walked in to school, I saw all these kids walking around and talking to each other. Enjoying the few minutes before we all had to go to our classes, as I was walking to the little garden our cheap school has, I kept looking at all the faces and wondering who and who was going to get pregnant or drop out. I know its a horrible thing to do, but things happen now. I haven't seen any pregnant girls yet, but my friend says they'll be there. It's mean I know, I apologize. This school year is not as bad as I thought, I get to see him everyday during lunch and that just makes my day. So far I'm proud of myself, I've been doing my homework! I wonder if this whole entire good school year is going to go until the end or if it's going to end up changing.

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

Today was my first day at a job, ha yup I've never had a job until now, and well it was pretty damn cool for a first job. I SAW PAUL McCartney! If you don't know who that is you pretty much have a problem. I still can't believe I saw him play live, I never thought I would, but WOW! You can probably tell I'm greatly excited over this and of course I am. I almost cried when I saw him come out on stage. I also met some people there, and we would sneak into the V.I.P rooms or whatever they're call whenever we could. Of course we could see them whenever we went into a room to empty out their trash and refill whatever needed to be refilled, but I didn't want to see an awesome concert with a bunch of snobby rich drunk people. So we would sneak, well not exactly sneak because our supervisor would let us, but only for a while so we would find ways of always being there for every song, into the empty rooms. Oh and one of the bar tenders in one of the rooms was really super sweet. She would feed us whatever they had since the food the people didn't eat would end up in the trash. "Look at all that waisted food," I heard one of the people coming out of the concert say and I couldn't help but smile at the man and nod. I also met a producer and some actress from broadway, but I didn't get to get their names since they were drunk and practically laughing at whatever small joke I made. I wish I had gotten an autograph though, but well I was working so I couldn't, but god I want one so bad. I still can't believe I saw him live. Me and some kid/man, since he was twenty something knew all the lyrics to every song, so it was pretty cool when we'll pass by each other and start singing whatever was coming on and sometimes the people walking by would join in. *sigh* I wish I could've talked to him... My feet hurt though, so much walking up and down the halls. It was to much, they feel like they're going to fall off any second now.

your blogger,

Lizz

blabbering

Jesus Christ Liz where have you been at?
I'm sorry I got lost, I promise it's true.
LIAR!
Ah okay okay, I got disconnected from the interweb. Do you know how horrible it was?
Nope, how horrible was it?
Well it wasn't really horrible as long as I had the phone, but then that got taken away and I went crazy.
Really?
Well not crazy crazy, I just really missed hearing his voice before I went to sleep.
Well now your back so hurry give me the 411.
Uhhhh.... Well you see I got into this thing at school so I got to see him there and that was fun. I hung out with my friends. People I would've never expected to hang out with. OMG! the wierdest thing happened, but I'm glad it did. Wierd how our parents started talking and they're cool with it, well except for my dad he's still all AHHHH.
WOW, so I'm guessing things are good with him?
Oh yes, I'm sorry I'm all icky, but I truly love him, he's the first guy I've fallen for.
Awwww, what else happened?
I think I lost my bestfriend.
What do you mean?
I really don't know....

School is getting closer, one more week. The closer it gets the more I don't want it to get here. I'm making this year the best I can make it. Can't wait til we finally get to living together.
How are you? Would you believe I missed you? Well I did, sad I know, but I did.

QUICK GET ME PEN AND PAPER!

I have a bright idea! Well not really because it aint an idea, well for me in my situation it is. Invent a time machine for me please, or teach me how to control time. Yes? School is getting closer and I kind of want it to get here and then I don't. This is my last year.... I need more time to spend with him, AND the closer I get to college the more I start questioning if I really want those careers. I mean of course I do, but what if it doesn't go right for me. To much thinking going on right now. AHHHHH! I've been very lazy lately. I have a list of things I want to do and I've so far done none. I need money for a lot of things. Why exactly do we even have money? I think the world would be better if we had no money. We can still have everything we have right now, but we wouldn't have to buy them. Instead we just walk in and walk out with what we want. I don't know I'm making it confusing, but somehow you should get the idea. Money isn't really needed, but well the world is greedy. Everyone wants power, but look at where it has put us. I'm going to make a list of the things I want to do maybe that'll help with the to do list. Since it's all in my head and well I tend to forget things.


your blogger,

Lizz

p.s ireallycan'twaittilthursdayimexcited!

djdksdjl

"Pick a hand, any hand, take a chance." Life is about taking chances you can't let those things pass you by or you'll just see you're life pass with them. Maybe I'm wrong about this. A person once told me "life is a game" and in a game you take alot of chances. So one equals the other one, right? May I ask you something? Why do you hate chances so much then? "Take life by the horns" I've also heard and well I believe in every saying there is about life. "Life is a bitch" ha yea it is, but what fun will it be if it wasn't. You're satisfied when you've worked so hard for something and you get what you wanted and sometimes something even better. I've been thinking alot about life and well I've come to a point where I want to get as much as possible out of life, since we will never be satisfied with what we have might as well try to see if we can reach it.

Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,
Be every color that you are,
Into the rush now,
You don't have to know how___aly and aj

One thing I've noticed is that life is about baby steps, you can't rush into something and expect everything to go well. You have to take it one step at a time. If you get lost there's always somehting called a map. Like I've said before you make life what you want it to be, everyone has their own meaning of life.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.__corrine bailey

confused

I feel terribly sick, not like going to the doctor sick just emotionally sick you can say. Well not really, but its like this feeling of irritation. I'm not happy about everything I do. Kinda frustrating don't you think. I feel like punching someone so bad! I can't pretend to be strong anymore, it's really tiring pretending I know exactly what I want. I'm as lost as the next person. I'm tired. I'm frustrated.

awful, horrible, annoying, sleepy, and hot

So today I was woken up by heavy drilling and hammering. What a nice way to wake up right? I still didn't want to wake up though, so I tried to drown out all the noise and just close my eyes. Well then my dad came in wating me to call someone and I did. The thing though is the phone stayed next to me and people kept calling. I fely like throwing the phone across the room, but well my phone is already kinda broken so I kept it under my bed. I finally suceeded in falling asleep when the phone rings again and snaps me from my really good dream. It turned out to be my aunt saying I have to pick up my cousin from summer school, and that she couldn't do it because she was at work and she couldn't close the resturant. It was funny though because she asked me if I was asleep and I answer no in a wierd sleepy voice.By the way, I'm not use to waking up early anymore, I end up waking up like around 1 or 12 and she called me at 10! Well I got up and changed and brushed my teeth in a hurry, I didn't mind alot since I wanted to go to Walmart to buy something. The school was very lonely so I didn't have to wait for cars to hurry and pick the kids up. We went to Walmart and ofcourse she was terribly scared her mom would know she wasn't at home taking care of her siblings, but I told her to just tell the truth to her mom if she calls. Ofcourse my aunt calls and you could hear her yelling, I told my cousin to pass me the phone and I told her not to be getting pissed at her that her younger kids would be fine. Anyways there like what 13 and 8, they can take care of themselves. We stole somethings and bought one item, so we are giving back to the economy. I'm to poor to be paying taxes and $1.87 for one stupid bottle of paint. I dropped her off and I went home to the heavy hot temperature of my house. Since they broke down my wall we couldn't leave the air conditioner on since we are wasting light, and like I said we are far to poor to be wasting cool air. BUT! that's not the worst part. My little neighbors came in like it was there home, touching this, eating that, playing with that, and breaking things. I'm not use to little kids since its just me and my younger brother which is 13, so he doesn't annoy me alot. These kids I swear OMG there annoying. They kept wanting me to make them bracelets since they saw that I had beads in a jar and they kept playing with the dog when all my dog wanted to do was sleep, so he hid under my bed. Lucky him. The kids and me getting annoyed made it worse and I felt like I was cooking in my own home. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but with all the noise I couldn't. In and out, I swear those kids have ants in there pants. This has been the most annoying day I've had in so long. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
They still haven't finished my parents room, so again tomorrow is going to be the same thing. *sigh* I hate summers when its 104 degrees outside.

your blogger,

Lizz

p.s imissedyoutoday

thoughts

Hush don't speak a word about the dreams that I live for. It hurts to reach you when I’m down. Don’t speak again; I’m still waiting for my turn. It hurts to reach you when I’m down -Eyes Set to Kill.

Why do people say we're to old to believe in something? Whats wrong with believing in fairy tales? I have huge dreams, people have told me this before. "You'll never reach them Liz. Its to big to become real life." Why is it too big? I wish to be alot of things and I know I'll reach them someday. If I don't well then I guess I didn't fight hard enough. "You're an idealist Liz, they don't go very far in life. Wake up liz and see that this is reality." Well since when can't dreams and reality be one? Alot of people have done it, why can't I. Even my mom says it, but well she never got the apportunity I have, and that is the reason she came to this country, right? To give me and my brother a better life. Well thats what I'm gonna do, make the best with what I'm given and build up from there. I want to be a writer, but my mom says that is no stable career. Of course it aint and I don't want one, if I did I would've been something normal like a doctor, a nurse or a teacher, but how boring is that. I want to wake up everyday with my fairy tales and face the challanges of the day. If I get something ordinary what fun is there in that? NOTHING. I love that I'm a child inside, I believe in magic worlds and I see it as a good thing. Others say its a bad thing, I should grow up and face reality. I think I'm grown up and I know the reality of things. I love it when people are confused about what they want to be, bacause I know they'll find it and when they do it'll be something they enjoy. I think everyone should get lost, you're bound to get found and it'll be very interesting. Well I don't know if this made any sense but oh well.

your blogger,

Lizz

p.s.iloveyou

3-2=

Warp Tour is this Sunday, I hope I get to go. I haven't been able to sleep at night, I toss and I turn all night until around 4 or 5. I end up waking up at 1 after that. There's this wierd thing I keep seeing when I drift. Its a red door on a stone house with gold numbers 365 going up and down the door, I wonder what that means. I haven't read a single book in a long time. It gets me frusturated. I think I know why....

your blogger,
Lizz

Istillneedtogetajob!

Apologies

I'm sorry I can't come with anything smart to say. I try, but what do I know,right? I wish I could be like your friends, you speak so highly of them. I'm sorry. I haven't seen the things you have, I'm not as clever as you are, I'm sorry. How can I help you when I'm so broken as well? I try I really do, but it seems that whatever I say doesn't help the situation one bit. I'm sorry I don't get somethings. I'm sorry. I'm here to listen, but that also seems not be enough. I'm sorry I'm worthless.

IC

So I spent my whole day watching videos on one of my favorite charity ever. Well except when I had to go to the drivers ed, but other than that all day. I really love how a voices from a youth can have such an impact, bacause of four guys deciding to trvael to Africa they learned the tragedies, and because of they're willing to help it has happened. This thing has so much impact and it has changed the lives of many. I remember when I first stumbled across it I cried. This is something of what I wrote that day, I believe it was last year.
So many thought are racing through my head. I've just finished a documentary called Invisible Children. I've heard of it once before, but I've never checked it out til now. I watched almost all the videos they had on their website and it touched me. I'm a teenager and like all teenagers I don't appreciate all the things I have, but now that I have an idea of how kids in other contries live I have learned in a small way to be thankful for the things I have. I mean all these kids can’t sleep at home for the fear of being taken by the rebel army and taken to be killed or put to kill others. All these kids want to do is live like a normal kid they see in the movies, they want an education, they want to go to school, and we sit here and hate every second of the education that is offer to us for free. Us here in America can’t see how good we have it and many people wished they could come here and live like we do. We are all in our safe homes whining about what we don’t have, about the problems we think are huge while others don’t have a thing to eat or any possessions. We don’t have to think of what we’re going to eat, if we’re going to survive or die, who will die, and no one around us are dying by the thousands, but yet these kids dance and laugh. I may not understand their pain, but I do know that somehow someway I want to get involved as well as other organizations such as To Write Love On Her Arms.
I have a new goal this summer and its to help with whatever I have, and in anyway I can. During the whole entire time I was watching this I wanted to jump up and just dash out the door to help. The feeling keeps bothering me right now. They say the war that has been going for years might end soon, and I really do hope it ends. I didn't get to go to any of the events they had. I really wished I had heard of them so I could've gone, but it's what happens when I don't check my mail for news.

Street Zine newspaper

I passed that damn test and I now have a clean record once again. There was this one kid that reminded me of my other friend. He had been caught stealing god knows what, and now he has to pay $140 and do 48 hours of community service along with some other things I didn't get to hear, but it sure sounded like a lot. Coming out of the court building I saw a newspaper vendor. Not one of those normal vendors, but a homeless making his living selling paper about homeless people. I instantly reached into my pocket and pulled out a dollar went over to him and asked for a newspaper. You should've seen his face, it instantly lit up. I guess he wasn't doing much business. I felt so bad, I hated the people that ignored the poor guy, he's actually tying to make something of himself. I really wished I could've talked to him, I could tell he had a huge story to tell. My mom gave him another dollar and told him to keep it for himself. All these business people kept coming in and out of the building and not one payed any attention to him, they only gave him a smug look and continued on with their business. I've read alot of those newspapers and I've learned that many of them are out not on the streets because they choose to or because they do drugs. Many were abonded by their parents and it's an open wound they can't heal like this on story in the newspaper, "I've been on the street 5 years and I think it's bacause I cannot get over one thing. It's the image of my daddy leaving me on the side of the road in the snow, without a jacket, when I was seven." You would be surprise by the stories they tell, many use to be big people just like the ones giving the homeless the smug looks. I really wish I could help every single one of them, and I will one day. People look at them as deliquents when they haven't done anything. So many times have I gone to library and outside of it I see cops handcuffing them, while they look totally confuse about the whole thing. The only difference between you and them is the you have a don't have to worry about where you're going to sleep tomorrow, or what you're going to eat next. They have a reason to whine and yet they don't, they suck it up and try their best to make it out of there. There's writers, poets, artist, accountents, managers, mothers, fathers, teens, children along with other people and they didn't choose to live that way, it was from one day to the next.

1,2,3,4 how does it go again?

How many heads have you turned? You snake yourself into everyone's head to make yourself look so innocent. Oh honey if only they knew, your head has been chopped off, youre tongue tied to the back of your head...

The weather has been really hot. It's summer Liz what do you expect? I'm going to take my driver's test tomorrow, I hope I pass. I'm really nervous. What if I flunk?! Well I can't I have court on Monday. Ahhh! I'm scared! I watched Battle Royale and man dude that's a bloddy movie. If you haven't watched it you should, it's pretty quite good if you dont mind blood and kids killing each other. I won't tell you what it is about, you just have to see the trailer. I had a lot of things I wanted to say, but now it seems they all went away. I really need to start writing things down. Tell me a story, I'm dying to hear one.

your blogger,

Lizz

Beatlemania, books,and overrated movies

While The Beatles Anthology loads on Youtube I'll write something. It rained really hard on what I think was Thursday, but I'm not very sure. I didn't get to see since I was in the drivers class, but my dad said it was a pretty nasty. I could hear the thunder though and it was pretty loud. I really love when it rains and there's a bunch of thunder, especially when it knocks things down. I finished my first week of the stupid class just two more weeks to go. I met this girl there, she's pretty cool. Today looks really pretty and bright, hopefully it stays like this and doesn't rain later on at night. I recieved my report card from school, and I don't have to worry about signing up for reconnect. Wooo! I still need a job and I still haven't put much effort. Lately I've been feeling really dizzy and heavy. I guess you could call it lazyness, but I don't know. It's really hot in my room and it's getting me kind of frusturated. I went to Walmart yesterday, because my mom wanted to get some flowers for the living room, and I decided to walk around. Walmart really changed alot, they moved alot of things and I hate that. I liked where everything was, but now it's confusing. Well I was walking around and I went through the art area since I've been wanting to get some paint and a canvas to start painting again, and these girls were hudled around the poster rack and drooling over how cute the guy from Twilight is. Don't get me wrong Robert and Tyler are two really hot guys, but I hate that these girls run around saying how they're going to marry him and stuff. I knew about the books way before the movie, and I remember I would carry Twilight around in seventh grade and kids would say how they would never read the book and that it sounded pretty dumb. Now that its the big thing the same kids are reading the book and drooling over it. Everywhere I go I see Twilight. I'm a big fan of the author, but these kids are making it overrated. Its like Harry Potter all over again. I hate when books get turned into movies, and recently I dicovered another one of my favorite books is getting a show on CW. The damn show doesn't even keep up with the things in the book. Well enough of my anger mode on books and movies, lets talk about you. What are you up to?

your blogger,

Lizz

Driving school, classes and jobs

Yesterday was my first day of driving school. I'm not going to driving school,because my parents or I want to, but because the court ordered me. You see I have two tickets for driving without a license and without insurance. Oooooh! As I sat there the the instructures introduced themselves, which I don't remember there names, but I'm sure I will after a while, I felt like punching almost every teenager there. Teens can be very rude. The room was packed and we had to use more chairs from other parts just to sit kids down, in total there was about 36 of us from what I heard from the teacher. She explained how maturity was a big part of receiving our license and how half of us in there were not going to receive it. I would rather take the test than go to the classes since I already know how to drive and the answer to the questions, but it was a court order. I only have to deal with it for three weeks, Monday through Friday from six to eight. Oh boy am I going to have an interesting three weeks. I still haven't found a job, but I haven't put much effort into it. I really need a job to help my parents and their situation, but I also have school to go to. I still have to sign up for it. Ah it's to much, but I can't be telling my self that or I'm going to start putting things off. I have all summer. I want to go to Florida or Georgia to visit my family, but I have to much to do. My dad's birthday is going to be this 16 and so is Father's Day. Don't know what I'm going to get him yet. Last year my mom bought him a beer and put a bow on it, but since he doesn't drink anymore I need something else to buy him. I'll think of something or I can just make him something. I have alot of things to do other than the listed above, but I'll get to them somehow. How do you like your summer so far?

your blogger,

Lizz

Dream or reality?

Yesterday was really fun and relaxing. Irving, Joanna and Andy went; I really thought I wasn't going to go and that made me feel really bad. It wasn't the part of the party, but of letting Irving down. I have once before and it makes me feel bad when he brings it up. The graduation party was really boring, and I felt really bad keeping them there especially since Andy looked really bored, so we decided to leave to Irving's house. We took a few drinks and finished his mom's alcohol and went outside to his porch. I had only drank about three shots, I can't really remember, and decided to lay on the grass. Joanna and Andy laid faraway from me and Irving laid down with me. I never thought I would get the chance to see the stars with him, but I finially did. It was on the list of things to do. We made a promise, a promise that made me feel better. He really is part of my life, and I hope he will always be. We talked, we laughed and we just held each other; obserbing everything around us. After meeting his mom, for what will be the last time, since she kind of scares me, we left home. My dad let me borrow his car and we drove to Jack In the Box with really loud music. The streets are beautiful late at night. All in all yesterday to me was like a dream, I still can't get over how perfect it was.

your blogger,

Lizz

pretty much chill and blank

Today was really fun and calm, I love days like these. Spending the time with this one kid, the day is really magical. Flew paper airplanes off a building, and drew on stuff. Up is a really good movie, I'm glad I went to go see it. Held his hand the entire time :) I was really sad when I had to leave him, but tomorrow we may hang out once again. Summer is finally here! I have alot of stuff to do though, so I won't get to have much fun. New experiences are always good. Waiting for my dad some lady complimented on my shoes, I got kinda scared though, but smiled and thanked her. I got myself a smoothie, yummm. I haven't had much thoughts on anything, I'm sorry. I've gone blank. I hate when this happens I need to read more books. I've stopped doing that maybe that's why I'm blank. Book is always a good cure for the soul. I've noticed our generation is pretty much stupid. Girls walk around being proud of fuckin' the first guy they see. They're proud to end up pregnant and fighting with the girl for the baby daddy. We have kids smokin' the fuck out of their brain cells, and they walk around thinking they're all hard. Orgasms, drugs, and alcohol is pretty much what revolves around a teenager's day. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. The stupidest things is what makes you fit in with the cool crowd now a days. What goes through these kids heads? Is what I wonder. Do they not see how dumb they sound and look? Take a look at your friends, and I mean a really good look. Tell me what you think about them afterwards.

your blogger,

Lizz

cup made out of water, magic i call it :D

tick tick tick tick

Summer is nearing and the birds are singing. Stupid sun! I wish it were warm not hot, and the sun wasnt all bright. What are you going to do this summer? I have a to do list. That will be very fun and interesting, and jobs and school. Tomorrow will be the last day. I'll miss some people and some teachers. Yup I said it I might miss some teachers, well actually only one. He was a very cool teacher and he was like a father at school. I hope he doesn't get the principal job, but It's what he always wanted so I hope he gets what he wants. I wonder how next year its going to be with me being a senior and all. It stil hasn't hit me, I'm going to be a senior. Maybe if i repeat it over and over it'll seap in. I'm going to miss alot of people, especially this one kid. I wonder how my future is going to be, good? Bad? Some of my old imagination is coming back. I'm really hapy about that, I really missed it. Life is boring without imagination, its like starring at a blank wall all your life. I've really fallen for Circa Survive, I don't know how I survived life without it. Check them out if you don't know them.

your blogger,

Lizz

When light turns darkness

Never thought I'll take a picture of that.

Robots in disguise

As a child I always though people weren't real. It's hard to explain what I mean, but I'll try my best. Everytime I looked at a person I always wondered who they were, where they were going, and what they were thinking. As a child I thought that everyone was a robot except for me, and that drove me to not trusting people. I thought that as soon as a I went home the people I knew and everyone else disappeared. I would drive my self crazy trying to picture what they were thinking; how they saw things through their eyes. I would always wonder how I or anyone looked through their eyes and if they had the same curiousity as I did. I remember I would stare at people and try to put myself in their position, but I would just end up with a headache. I would sit outside my porch and stare at people pass by or through their windows and wonder. I can't believe I was like this when I was young, but I guess everyone was. I still get curious, I still sometimes over think way to much to the point I think everyone doesn't exsist and I'm just alone. I wonder what people do with themselves, what the person you think is the wierdest person ever is going through their heads. What the reason people do things. I guess this all relates to psychology, it's all in the mind. Damn I've lost my thoughts, and maybe I've just confused whoever is reading this. I'm sorry? It's just something I've been thinking about today.

your blogger,

Liz

I'm such a fool

Final exams are here and summer is right around the corner. What to do this summer?? Been thinking to much and questioning alot of things. I've pretty much gotten to the point I think I'm being lied to, and I pretty much hate that because I shouldn't be thinking like that. I don't know seems to be the answer to alot of questions. I should stop not knowing and start thinking, but thinking gets me confused. I should really really stop making excuses. Today was pretty good you could say, but it was still crappy. I need my escape, I really do love him. I just need someone to come and slap me and tell me what's wrong with me. Enough whinning lets get down to business. How was your day? How is life? I was going through my stuff, because well I keep notes of everything, especially music. My friend calls me a music expert, which I am not, I just happen to know bands and artist. I should just like write down 5 bands and artist people should check out someday. Well anyways to the what I found thing. I like the stories the Taks always has. For some reason they're always interesting, well I found this quote or part of the story I really loved, because I found it very true. "You an never really gain time. On the other hand, you can never really lose it either. The only time is present tense; only most of the time we're too tense to be present." I had another one, but it seems I've lost it. Let's have a serious time to ourselves lets see if you don't agree.

your blogger,

Liz

Radiowave (:

Ever felt like you couldn't breath from the list of things you had to do? Now you know how I feel. "One step at a time." I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to sign up for this, I have to bite my nails waiting for that. It'll all be over soon, can't wait til I can relax and just wait for something to hit me. I miss the good ol' days. I wish I could go back to my sandbox years, those were always fun. "Look at the sky, its huge isnt it? Your dreams are pretty big, but you'll get there kid. All adventurers do." I've been trying to start writing again, but the ideas run wild once I touch the page with my pencil. "Just relax. They'll come when the time is right." So when is the time right? I need to start excercising, I may not need it but I don't want to end up sick when I'm old. Hopefully I get a job during the summer, I would love to take some yoga. I have a list of things I want to do and get during the summer, hopefully they all come true. "Don't use try when setting a goal. Don't question it, don't wait for it." May 24 was pretty cute, I really loved Sunday <3"You'll go far kid." Well so will you, you'll make big things happen. Have you stopped to smell the flowers recently?

your blogger,

Liz

Downtown Adventures

dance dance dance, its good being a teenager

10:07 p.m. just got in from being outside. Being lazy makes you loose balance, that's what I learned today. Neighbors thought we were crazy because we started dancing, but its cool we're uh teenagers? Wow I've stared at this thing for a long time and I haven't written anything. So I'm going to stop now...

your blogger,

Lizz

Wish the hot sun would go away :/

"09!" screamed the senior side. "2010!"screamed back the junior side. "09! 2010!" back and forth til the principal told us to calm down. It hasn't hit me yet that i'll be graduating in a year. I still remember walking in through the school doors as a nervous freshmen. It's very true what they say about four years going really fast. I still can't believe this, maybe it'll hit me later on or maybe once I'm up on the graduating stage. It's like watching a movie about yourself and you seeing yourself, but you don't feel the emotions. Well goodbye my junior year hello my senior year. Soon I'll be going to college, hopefully somewhere far away from Texas. I'm dead tired from todays excitement, but my day isnt over just yet. All I want to do is take a nice nap! Any plans for the future?

your blogger,
Lizz

(: <3

Well you've done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracksand now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run outI'll be giving it my bestest

Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn someI won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yoursWell open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love

Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me, I love peaceful melody

It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear

And I will nibble your earI've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do

Our name is our virtueI won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love

so please don't please don't please don't.There's no need to complicate'cause our time is short

This oh this oh this is our fate I'm yours

Oh I'm yours

I won't hesitate no more

Oh no more no more no more

It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure

Theres no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more

This cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

To many things at one time can really drive someone mad

Wierd how I had this image in my head all day. Today was pretty wierd, I got to get out of class today and get people out of theirs. My mind is pretty blank, I had about a page, maybe not even a page, but I had some things I wanted to write. Funny how I suddenly forgot. I'll write them later if I do remember.

your blogger,

Liz

Walking can really make you run into wierd people

11:44p.m., dead tired but inspired. Never had one of these, so I want to expirience. I might just delete it sometime, some day, maybe in the near future. What gave me the inspiration? Some thing I was reading by some girl, and well I always wanted to have one. Don't have much in my life, but im sure i'll make it interesting in some way. Hmm wonder if it'll attract anyone's attention... I'll start by telling about my tiresome day. Woke up at 8 a.m and well that's way to early for me on a Saturday, but I really wanted to go to the JFK memorial in Downtown Dallas and to the Holocaust meseum with my history teacher who said "it was a offiacially unoffcial, I was at the meseum and my students happen to show up." We had to meet him at 9:30 a.m. at the JFK memorial but well my friend was running late, so I had to wait for her but once we went it was to late so like any other teenager we took the day to do whatever we wanted. Ofcourse we went to the Holocaust meseum since we've never been (and man that place is so sad but very eye opening). Did I mention it was raining? Well yea it was raining and we were soaking wet, but we didn't care. We walked and walked all around Downtown until our feet felt like we couldn't take another step, so we decided to take a train to some record store I've been to before. We were getting our tickets for the train, but we've never used one since we always got out tickets from the bus. Well while we were busy trying to figure it out some man on the other side of the railroad tracks asked us if we needed any help and by then my friend had figured it out, so we said it was ok. Some homeless guy approched us asking for money and we gave him the change we had and he walked off. After waiting for sometime another homeless man approched us and asked us for money and well we didn't care because since they need it more than we do so we gave him a dollar, and yet he asked if we had more money! We said no and he asked me and I told him I didn't have any, and the man stood there and stared at us and ofcourse we got scared. The man that had offered us help before told the man to leave us alone and the guy went off on him. The guy called the cops while the homeless man walked away leaving a trail of cuss words behind. The train finally came and we got on and so did the man that helped us, still on the phone with the cop. After hanging up he comes up to us and says that panhandling is against the law, but since we "didn't know" he told us it wasn't our fault; now I don't know why, but the movie Enough with Jeylo ran through my head, and I felt that he was strange. He got off on the next stop from where he first started and walked off, me and my friend just sat there with the same thing running through our head, Enough. Later on my friend lost her phone in Neimen Marcus. We searched and we searched, even the manager from the store searched, but nothing turned up. We called the phone and texted, but no one answered. We were so worried about what my friend's mom would say so we didn't want to leave Downtown without the phone, but evetually we had to. So by the end of the day we had no phone and now my feet hurt, but other than that dilemma the day was a pretty cool day. (:

your blogger,
Liz