Trust.

I'm pinned against a wall. I don't have any money because I had huge bills. My mom has asked for the last bit of cash I had. My tank is about to run on empty, and I don't know what to do. I have a job and it pays good money but for some reason the more money the more bills I tend to get. I gave my trust to the only human bean I had for years and it was all just smacked in my face. I have no one to turn to. This sucks! I'm scared. If I have no gas there's no way for me to get to my job, and no job means no cash. I feel like crying and craling inside of a hole. I just want a break! I want things to go smoothly for a couple of years or weeks. I just need a breather a reminder why I shouldn't quit life. I'm just praying. Why have all my blogs turned sad????

Once again thank you

I want to shut down every social networking I have. The people I kick out of my life always find a way to sneak back in. I wanted her out but somehow she ends up coming up again. I don't know. I got a job at a bank and I haven't gone back to school. Maybe September will be my lucky month. I hope.

My blogs are full of spelling mistakes.....

So I'm alive! I knew may 21, 2011 rapture was dumb. No human knows when the world is going to end, and it's very egotistic for us to think we can. Also another thing my mom pointed out; in the bible after god flooded the world he promised Noah he would never do anything like that again. So! Yea 2012 ain't going to happen either. Anyways pushing that aside, I'd like to thank the people who follow this blog. It's just 4 people but it means a whole lot to think someone likes what I blabber about.I will really try to keep updating this

stress and real life....

When you're in high school teachers tell you to get ready, they try to prepare you for the real world. They give you advice and as a student, you're thinking, "WHO THE FUCK CARES! I WANT TO GO HOME!" or something along those lines. Don't deny it, we were all like that in some way. Well now I wish I had actually listened to the teachers. I'm at that point where I can't believe I'm here. I thought I'd be in college living with some chick that I maybe got a long with, going to parties and studying hard, but that's not the case. I'm at home and working. Well I was working and it sucked I had to quit. There would be times I'd come back from work crying because people pissed me off and I was so stressed out. Now I'm just stuck at home. I mean don't get me wrong I was like a nerd at school. I always turned my work in and was silent during class. I had As and Bs in class, and I graduated with a 3.5 GPA. I just don't know how I got like this. There's times I hate myself so much! I'm disgusted with who I've turned out to be. Recently I went back to my old high school to visit my one of my greatest teachers. He made me talk in front of the class, of course I lied. I didn't want to disappoint him and say I haven't been to school. I felt so bad. I've told myself this is all part of me learning from life, but I completely hate it. Things will get better, things will shape up, I will one day end up in a good career and not a job..... I hope.......

fml

I haven't written here in so long. How's work? It's been okay, I'm stressed. How's life? Life is pretty cool. Theres nothing much to say. Life is moving on. I'm about to be 19, it's scary I guess. I want to stay a child. I regret ever wishing to grow up, but I suppose it was going to happen either way. "Enjoy your childhood" is what i say to all my cousins. It's all I can do it's there choice on what they want to do not mine. If it was they'd play with toys everyday. We all change. I've stopped painting, drawing and wishing. It makes me sad. I lost a part of me. I'm still trying to keep wishing. It's weird I haven't felt the passion for anything in a year. *sigh* Oh well move on right? It'll all come back. Can't wait for school to start, I miss learning. Maybe then something will come. Happy holidays! (:

Complications

Life is full of hard things. Everyone has bad things going on in their life, but we all get through them. I've learned at a young age that life isnt fair there is always something to ruin it, but I've also learned we can't let those things get to us because if you keep your head up it won't beat you. You can't let it beat you. Life is beautiful in the end though. It makes us cry, it makes us hate, and it makes us love. Life is also full of lessons that we learn every single day wether we know it or not. "Life can never stay dark there is always lightswitch somewhere." - by a person I once met but never got to get his name.

I got a job at Bestbuy. About damn fuckin' time!